


Obsession

by melian225



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, F/M, Marauders' Era, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 13:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melian225/pseuds/melian225
Summary: I stay hidden, behind a suit of armour here, a plinth there. She doesn’t know I follow her. Doesn’t know how much I want to return to those days when she called herself my friend, before I completely screwed everything up. Before I called her that word.





	Obsession

There she is. Walking through the ancient stone corridors, a shining light in the darkness. Radiant. A glow just comes off her, off that dark red hair I still long to run my fingers through.

I stay hidden, behind a suit of armour here, a plinth there. She doesn’t know I follow her. Doesn’t know how much I want to return to those days when she called herself my friend, before I completely screwed everything up. Before I called her that word.

She stops to talk to someone, a boy. I don’t know who he is but I want to curse him into oblivion. Is she interested in him? He probably fancies her, half of Hogwarts does. But no, she’s just reprimanding him, he’s been doing something wrong and she just takes points off him. I breathe a sigh of relief that there still may be a chance. A chance for reconciliation and maybe even something more.

She goes down the marble staircase, talking to those girls who are still her friends, who poisoned her mind against me. Can’t she see how toxic they are, how they made her change? I hate those girls for taking her away from me.

They go into the Great Hall and still I hover in the background, hoping I haven’t been noticed. She takes her seat at the Gryffindor table, her back to the rest of the room. She pays no attention to the corner where I’m still watching her, oblivious to me like she so often is these days. She only looks up when James Potter struts past, trying to make her notice him.

Yes, the prick struts. There’s no other word for it. And he’s followed by Black, just as conceited and arrogant as he is, and then those other two who hang off their every word. The werewolf and the pasty-faced fat boy whose name I can’t even think of. I feel like telling the whole school about the werewolf, that would wipe those smirks off their faces, but I made a promise to Dumbledore. I don’t want to be expelled and for some reason Dumbledore is someone you just don’t want to break promises to. Maybe it’s because he’s so powerful.

I’m drawn to power. And I think she is, too, the way she looked up when Potter strutted past. He keeps trying to show he’s powerful, what with his hexing people just for the sake of it. And we all know he fancies her. I hate him. I loathe him with every cell in my body, with the same amount of passion that I love her. Because he’s the one she looks at these days, with the expression I once thought she might give me.

Maybe if I’d been a prefect she might have stayed my friend. She definitely talks to the other prefects, even the ones in Slytherin though she claims to hate everything they stand for. And then I’d be a chance of being Head Boy, because she’ll definitely pay attention to whoever gets that job.

So I need to get powerful in another way, maybe then she’ll notice me again. Avery and Mulciber have some good ideas about power and ways people like me can get it, by doing the right thing by the Dark Lord and getting in his good books. He’s got the right idea about who should be practicing magic and it’s obvious that that’s the way the war is going, those who oppose him are just falling by the wayside. I think that if I died that way I’d be proud, the Dark Mark hanging like a badge of honour over the house – I really don’t understand why people are getting so worked up about it all. Anyway, the Dark Lord is definitely winning the war, so if I can please him then I might get some power that way.

And maybe then I can impress her again, make her look at me with an expression that doesn’t include disgust or disappointment. If she likes power, I can give it to her. I can make sure that she’s never touched, nor her family, despite her unfortunate birth. (How can someone like her be Muggle-born? It just goes against everything we know to be true.) I can make sure she survives the war and comes out of it on the arm of a general.

I think I’d do anything for her. Even now, even though she says she hates me.

I abandon my hiding place in the shadowy corner of the Great Hall and head towards the Slytherin table. My spiritual home. Ever since Potter sat down she’s been watching him, and although I’m sure she thinks she’s being subtle I can tell. If that prick gets her I think I’m going to kill him. Or at the very least give him a good dose of _Crucio_ , which would be nothing compared to how I’d be feeling.

No, I definitely need to get more powerful. It’s the only way I’ll still have a chance with her. Reaching the Slytherin table, I sit down in between Avery and Mulciber.

“So,” I say, “tell me again about how to join the Death Eaters…”


End file.
